18 JUN 2024
Hello Christian, thank you so much for being here. It's a real pleasure to have you as a guest on the podcast.
So Christian, I've read your book entitled A Walk in the Physical, which I found so inspiring in terms of having an overview and a better understanding of the context and the implications of our incarnation here on Earth. I want to start this interview by asking you how it all came about in your life. Have you always been drawn to spirituality, or did you have an awakening happening at some point in your life?
Yeah, I think both. I've always been drawn to spirituality, but in my early life, I was seeing the world through a Christian context, a Christian lens. My body is 43 right now, but at the age of 30, I went through an awakening process—not purely intentionally. I began to take up a long-term meditation practice, and after a few months, I started having non-physical experiences, out-of-body experiences, and I also had pre-birth memories return to me.
These experiences were super eye-opening, and they completely changed my worldview. I really had to change how I saw reality itself. So now, it's very normal for me to have these experiences and to see the world as closer to what it really is, which is kind of like a virtual reality that we're experiencing here. We're not really human; we're actually spirit having the human experience. Spirit meaning consciousness itself. You're actually you having the experience of being a human, and I'm actually me having the experience of being a human. That's not necessarily synonymous.
So yeah, ever since then, I've really grown a lot in that way and come to a new understanding.
What were you looking for in the process when you started this meditation practice? Did something trigger the start of that, or were you in pursuit of something specific?
Yeah, great question. So I was always a seeker. I always just wanted to understand, and I was really kicked down the path by the consciousness explorer Tom Campbell. He's a physicist and consciousness explorer who wrote the book My Big TOE—that's the name of his book. I watched one of his interviews, and it was very interesting to me, so I bought his book. In the book, he really recommended meditation as a form of investigation, as a form of personal investigation.
So I started down the path of meditation at first just because it felt so good. It was very relieving and relaxing and life-giving, and it was beneficial. But soon enough, I really had that door open to the higher part of ourselves, the larger consciousness system, as Tom Campbell calls it. Once that happened, it was like, "My goodness, I just have to keep exploring here because there's a lot more going on than the human context."
So I was always a seeker, but yeah, that's how it started for me. It was hearing his message. There was one video I watched of his where he made one comment that was very simple—just a simple comment—but it stung my ego. The comment was, "What you believe is not going to get you anywhere particularly important."
I brushed it off, but then I felt this little nudge inside me, this little nudge from spirit that set me down this whole path. That little nudge was, "Why did that sting? Why did that sting your ego?" And I thought, "Oh yeah, why did that sting? There must be a reason." So just that very simple nudge started me to read his book and then begin the meditation process. From there, it was like a snowball rolling downhill.
Why do you think it stung your ego, that whole concept of belief?
Yeah, it stung my ego because, at the time, I believed that I was justified by faith, by belief. That's a main point of Christian theology—that through belief, you have attained something, you are someone because you believe. So him saying that the nature, the specific identification of the belief itself, wasn't the active ingredient and wasn't going to get you anywhere—I didn't like that because that meant it challenged everything that I believed at the time.
Yeah, changing the whole conditioning, the whole framework.
Yep, the whole framework. Yep, yeah, and that hurts. That's big work. It is big work, but what's interesting though is that I wanted to know more. I wanted to find the truth more than I wanted to be comfortable in my lifelong beliefs.
You see, it's hard. The ego wants to hold on hard to what it believes because that's easy. It's protective; it's safe. To let go of that and actually admit that you don't know, and then actually go explore and find out how weak you actually feel, how much fear you actually have, and actually go see for real who you are, what you feel, what reality is—that takes a lot of courage and humility. But the rewards are more than worth it. It's just at the beginning, it's not obvious.
No, it's not obvious. And I always say, saying yes to that spiritual path and that spiritual work is not easy. I think there's a lot of currents of spirituality today that are very pink and fluffy and all that, and actually, I think you need to be brave and courageous to face your own shadow. It's absolutely a commitment, and it's accepting to break a lot of parts of yourself and a lot of your beliefs and a lot of relationships as well.
It's not an easy path, but I think the gifts are enormous and so rewarding.
But yeah, no, exactly. It can be a destructive path. However, it's a destruction of that which you're not.
Exactly. But you don't understand. Exactly. I know that sounds abstract to say it's a destruction of what you're not, but what I mean is what you truly are, which is total love and peace and joy and freedom. That's what you really are. That cannot be threatened. It's only that we lose ourselves in belief. We lose ourselves in form association. That means we associate with the contents of the physical life—the ideas, the thinking, the feelings, the body. And in that association, we think that's who we are.
Our identity becomes tied up in it, so when the identity gets threatened, when the beliefs get threatened, we think that means we are threatened. No, not the real "I." The real "I" is not threatened—only the association with that which we're not.
Do you think, when we are in those states of destruction, shedding, excavation—which can be quite dark and difficult—do you think the soul rejoices in those moments?
Yes, ultimately, yes, because what we're here to do is expand toward love, in love. The evolution of spirit—we're here for the evolution of our being, which is synonymous with the growth of love and joy. So when we face our fear and own our crap and admit our weakness and challenge our beliefs and actually go find who we are, that is a fear-challenging process. It's a process of engaging our actual fear and working through it and overcoming it.
That is synonymous with the expansion of love and joy because love is our true nature. Fear is always in association with something that we're not, but when we work through that and we really integrate that experience, that allows an incredible expansion of being. And the being lasts far past the end of the physical experience.
So yes, very much. That's useful to who we really are. We could say it's useful to the soul, but I don't like to make it sound like the soul is something else or someone else. You are your soul, so it's actually you that grows as you face your crap and own your fear and find the love and the joy in your life. It's a beautiful process for sure.
To go back to when you started meditation and you were in this whole process of discovery and just going further in that research of consciousness—you mentioned that you had pre-birth memories. How did that appear?
Yeah, so it's hard to describe. So first, like I described, I started having out-of-body experiences, non-physical experiences. It really started with that. And then, as I got more and more in touch with who I really am, which is consciousness, my consciousness, the consciousness, then all of a sudden, my pre-birth arrangement was just very plain, very obvious. It was like somebody had just blown leaves off of the ground, and the memory was just there.
It wasn't like earthly memory. It was very alive and ancient and current too—hard to describe. Like it's happening right now but also millions of years ago, kind of a feeling. And very full and rich and very personal—extremely personal, more personal feeling than any earthly memory actually. And it was just there, like so normal, like the most normal thing in the world.
Yeah, very natural.
Yeah, so when you talk about pre-birth memories, we're not talking about the womb. I have a pre-birth memory. I found out quite late what it was, but it's always been with me. It's a memory, but it's all like me in the womb. So obviously, there's no image; it's just sensation. It's just a feeling. You're just in the dark.
But when you talk about your pre-birth memories, are you talking about in the womb or on the other side?
The other side. Yeah, the other side—planning the incarnation. Yeah, planning the incarnation and then, after accepting the veil, being in the womb. But the majority of it, the much more meaningful and substantive portion, is pre-incarnation. Post-incarnation is very dense and limited.
Yeah, nothing by comparison.
Yeah, it's not comfortable. This body—no, no, not by comparison. We get used to it, but it's extremely dense and limiting.
Yes, and so what's your outlook on what happens pre-incarnation? Do you decide what the plan is? Do you decide on your own, or do you decide with guides or other counselors?
Yes, yeah, very much like that actually. So in my case, I had an intention to meet and integrate a certain fear because I knew that that fear would be like—if I could really process and integrate that and process the karma, I guess is the good English word—karma. It's the best word we have, the energetic history I had with that fear. I knew that that would be very beneficial for me and for the whole to process that fear.
So the guides I worked with—my guides—there are very loving and wise beings who help us decide what would be optimal to do, what experience would be optimal to engage. And they brought me a previous life, which I rejected immediately after reincarnating while I was still in the womb because I was like, "I'm not doing this. This is not happening. It was so—this is too much. I've forgotten all that I am. I'm not doing this."
And so I rejected that life, and that caused a miscarriage of that body. So that was a—you could say—a failed attempt. I don't like the word failure, but it was an attempt that didn't go far because I didn't even make it to physical birth. But then I still had the intention, so then they brought me this life, and I reviewed this life in great detail before accepting it.
I asked some requests about it—quite a few requests about certain things I wanted to experience or aspects of the life I wanted to have included. And it was all kind of revolving around this one main theme, this one theme of this one certain kind of limitation that I would experience every day here, and that would give me the opportunity to reprocess this fear.
So I did work with the guides for that and help—you could say—tweak the life. But there's some things you can't tweak. I mean, there's a lot that comes with a given life that is native to the life—like certain biological constraints, the family, of course, the mother and father and their nature and how they might affect you, and the society you grow up in. It's a very complex and rich context in which you're being incarnated and choosing to incarnate into.
There is some room within that to make some tweaks, but there are certain elements that are just firm. So I don't know if that speaks to your question, but I did review that.
Yeah, no, I agree with the fact that some things are, as you say, firm in terms of context—which country you're born in, who are your parents, education, things like that. But do you think it's the same with events throughout the life, or people you meet, and things like that? Kind of like if you just draw a kind of timeline of certain events?
It's probabilistic. Okay, so what I mean is—in my pre-birth plan, I reviewed how this life would likely unfold, and I reviewed millions and millions and millions of possibilities all in a few seconds. And I could see—it was like branches of a tree. There were certain avenues that were very likely, certain avenues that were less likely.
So what determines the avenue? What determines the branch? Choice-making—my choice-making and the choice-making of everybody else in the game. You know, it's free will. It's just you have to make choices within the context as is permitted by the context. So, you know, I can't choose to go to the moon right now, kind of thing. But I could choose to do many other things, and so can everybody else.
And the system sees all that. It knows all that. It has all the data. It has all the information matrix—the matrix. Yeah, it has all the information, and it knows all the players in the game. So it's super good at predicting outcomes. That doesn't mean that it's prescripted, but it is pre-seen—what is likely and what is more likely and what is less likely.
So if a life is built around a specific goal, it is very likely that goal will actualize—very likely—because the whole simulation, the whole world—I say simulation, I mean the physical world—it's just like a virtual reality. So the whole simulation exists for the purposes of the expansion of love and joy, which means the integration of experience.
So if there's something that's beneficial for you to experience that you want to experience, that you choose to experience—even if it's hard—then the life will tend to give you that. The probabilities will tend to be nudged to give you that opportunity. So if there's a certain kind of challenge we come to experience, we often experience it over and over and over until we really meet it and face it.
A little bit like that. It's we who get to decide how we respond to it, but why?
So why do we, as souls—because I bet we're like super excited to come down, super excited—and then de-incarnation happens, we're born, and then you know difficulties, challenges, pain. Yes, life can be beautiful too, but life can be so difficult and so challenging. And what happens between those states? Why is it so extreme—being excited to come down here and then sometimes feeling like, "I can't, I actually can't do it"?
And also, my question is linked to the fact that it's possible that some people don't succeed in their incarnation. So what's your answer to that?
Well, there are two main questions there. The first is, why are we excited on the front end, and then when we get here, we can't handle it? So our true nature is completely immortal, and we are so free and full of power and love and joy. And we know it on that side. We can see it; we can feel it. It's the truth; it really is the truth.
And so we know that we can't really fail. We can't truly fail. We know that we are beyond deeper than anything we might experience, even in this simulation. However, we are also pushing the boundaries because we're very creative. We're very powerful. We're parts of God, you could say. God is very ultimately powerful, so we're so powerful that we even have the ability, the choice, to see how far we can push the boundaries of the experience of separation.
So here we are, experiencing separation very, very deeply. Yes, it's virtual; it's not fundamentally real, but heck, it's a real experience when you're here. It's pretty darn real. And we're really pushing the boundaries to see how deep can we go. Well, here we've come so deep that we really do feel separate, and the limitations of our lives feel so extreme.
And then what happens is because those limitations are extreme, we react in fear because we put negative meaning on it, and then we respond in fear because now we've bought into some meaning that is not in alignment with the truth of who we are. So for instance, we might think, "Oh, the world has proven to me that I am powerless." That's one of the big ones on Earth. Lots of people feel powerless.
Our true nature is not powerless; it's full of power. But when we buy into a perception of powerlessness, then we experience fear. Fear rises up because, "No, that's not me. I don't like that." And then the ego comes to the rescue and says, "Don't worry, I'll believe this thing that'll make me feel better. I'll do this thing that'll make me feel better." Whatever it can to just try to grasp at straws to fill this big hole that seems to have been made.
But that whole process is an opportunity. That whole process is additive. You could say duality itself is like a tool that the soul uses for expansion. So we transcend the limitation, and we know it pre-incarnation. But then, when we actually commit into it, we find out, "Oh my goodness, I have a lot of fear." Fear just means yet unevolved-ness. It just means there are things I haven't really come to terms with or processed yet.
And man, this is a place to do it. This is a high limitation set, high constraint set simulation. So yeah, there's a huge opportunity there.
I want to go back to this whole idea behind the fact that we are spiritual beings incarnated in matter and density, and not material beings here. If you have a spiritual experience, correct? So what are we then? What's your view? Are we just pieces of consciousness? What is the goal of coming here for the soul? Does the soul or consciousness come here to evolve? Is that it?
Yes, yes, that's true. So when we ask, "What are we really?" usually we're coming from the perspective of being form-conditioned. So what I mean is, we think that what's real is bodies, places, objects, up, down, left, right, light, darkness. Which one of these forms am I really?
But it's difficult to speak to that because what we really are transcends and gives rise to all form. The best word we can use for that—I know it sounds abstract, so I'm trying to get more specific—the best word we can use for that is consciousness, or spirit, or awareness, or aliveness, or beingness, or life itself with a capital L.
Those words are all kind of interchangeable because the thing we're trying to describe can't be described. I think the word consciousness is probably the best if we're trying to understand what we really are. We are conscious. We are that which knows, that which experiences.
So that consciousness that you are and that I am is a little piece of the whole—the one, that thing that exists, which we could call God or source. So we are—you could say—I love the Rumi quote: "You are not just a drop in the ocean; you are the mighty ocean in the drop." That's what we are. We are pieces of the whole, and yet you are the whole.
We're not actually separate from each other; we're just super creative. And we're so creative that we're actually seeing right now, "Can we feel separate from each other all the way? Let's see, can we do it? Can we lose ourselves in the dream?"
So why do that? What's the benefit? Well, it's difficult to describe in language because the soul is so vast. You could even say curiosity alone would be a big enough reason. But what I want to focus on is what inspired me to come to the physical was that I came across a being who had been physical, and I could feel from him this absolutely incredible quality of nature.
I don't know how to describe this—his essence, like his body of light. Okay, we could just put a metaphor on it—his body of light was full of so much amazing love and joy that was incredible. And I asked him, "How did you do that? How do you feel as much joy as I feel?" And he shared with me, "Yes," and I felt from him all that incredible depth of joy and this incredible power that he had.
And I asked, "How could you possibly be this? What did you do to be this?" And he shared with me that he had experienced a very—well, many things—but one thing among them was he had experienced a physical life where he had a long-term health condition, a pain that lasted with him for years. And how he chose to meet the pain allowed a refinement of his being.
He grew because it was like the circumstance was a counter-pressure. The circumstance was like a weight on a weight bench that he used. Now, it's not native to him. He let go; his body passed. You know, he died eventually, like we all do. It's fine; that's actually a really good thing because then it's like dropping the weight, taking off the heavy coat.
But everything that you did while under the weight bench or while in the heavy coat, you get to keep all that. You keep who you really are, but now you've done it with a heavy coat on. So now you're stronger; now you're brighter in a way that you couldn't otherwise be.
So it's the opportunity that the physical offers that makes it so alluring, so valuable. Now, once we're here, we can get overwhelmed because the weight can be really heavy, and we don't even know what that's like.
That's one of the main names of the game—we don't know why we're here. We forget. That's like a main part of the game is we forget, and then we see how we do.
Role number one, guys.
Exactly. Role number one is you're not going to remember. Now, the thing is, you're still you. So I know that sounds like, "Well, if I don't remember, I'm not me." No, you're still you. You're still the big you; you just think you're the small you. You just think you're the little human. You're not.
You know, when I was a kid, I was quite—I didn't grow up in a religious family or anything, but I was quite—I loved praying, and I was just really in my world. And I hated going to school because I thought kids were mean, and it was like a danger zone.
And I would sometimes just—I knew this wasn't me, this personality thing. And I would sometimes just close my eyes really hard and go, "This is not who I am. This is not who I am." And I would reach a space of void, but I was like six or seven, and I was doing that. And that would freak me out, and I would be like, "No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just going too far."
But it's funny, especially as a child, because you're so close to the source. So obviously, there are things you're less form-associated.
Yeah, exactly. So it just stays. But I would do that—close my eyes and be like, "I know this isn't me." That void is a common experience. That void you describe is consciousness without—well, what Tom Campbell would say is it's consciousness without a data stream.
So you've looked away from the physical. Imagine the physical is like a data stream, like maybe streaming a movie on your computer. And then you just look away; you're no longer looking at that data stream anymore. That's kind of what the void is. You're looking away from the data stream back towards consciousness itself.
Now, it can be terrifying if you're really ego-associated because guess what? There's no ego there; there's no form there. So you have to drop all that. The void is very exposed, which can be very uncomfortable for people. But that's a very common thing, and it's nothing to be afraid of. Our true nature is wonderful. There's no reason to truly fear who we are.
But I love that because I remember as a kid, I had some pre-birth memory up until the age of five, and then it left me. I forgot completely by the age of five or six. But when I was like two, three, four, I remembered choosing to come, and I knew that this was just a big simulation, and everyone's playing along. So I'm going to go ahead and play the game, but it seemed mighty strange to me that nobody remembered.
What are we doing here? Yeah, I was the only one in this. It does feel a little like that. It still feels like that to some extent. But I feel like it's not for me. There's no question about why we decided to incarnate now in this specific time as a collective.
This is a very special time, and this is what I wanted to talk to you about as well. There are just waves and waves of awakenings at the moment. Yes, and this is why I created the podcast because I had a brutal awakening four years ago, and I just did not understand what was going on.
I wanted to make this podcast to have testimonies for people who would just lose someone or lose their job or just something would happen, and then they would—I don't know—just have psychic faculties coming up. And sometimes you think you're just insane, like you're absolutely gone crazy. And it's really hard, and a lot of people are waking up at the moment.
Yes, how do you explain this ascension in terms of the brutality of it? It's everything's very quick, and it's like, "Well, there's no time, guys. Like, we need to crack on."
Yes, no, I love that question so much, especially because I just intuitively sensed when we first connected and when we first started this call that you're on that mission, and it's awesome. Like, you're one of the people who has come to help with these waves of ascension, and it's awesome. And I honor your choice because that's so powerful.
This is the real work. It's not easy. No, it's not easy. It's not easy. No, but that's just why I'm honoring your choice because I know that's not easy.
So why is it so brutal? Okay, yeah, so in my pre-birth experience, I remember seeing and knowing that the awakening was just happening. It was just starting. Like, I was born in 1980, and that was like the very early timeline when awakening was just starting. But it was seen that it was going to ramp up, and it was going to be a part of my life.
I was going to live during the awakening, which actually, by the way, made the life even more exciting because to be a human on Earth during the awakening—wow, that is high, crazy, cool stuff. I mean, that's like the coolest.
But why is it so hard? Because we have thousands and thousands of years of fear—collective fear patterns that are in our consciousness that we need to work through. Because as we evolve, as we wake up, the temperature of the water is rising. That means our vibration is increasing towards love more and more.
We think it's slow, but it's actually very fast because simply because of the density we're dealing with here. We're dealing with huge amounts of fear-based thought patterns and beliefs—thousands of years of us versus them thinking. We live in a predatory world where we eat the bodies of other creatures to survive, and here we're trying to grow.
So there's such density to that fear that as we process it, it has to come up to the surface to be felt. It has to come up to the surface to be seen. The old patterns of bloodshed and war—they're not the future; they're not what we are. But yet, that has to come up to be seen and to be processed and to be integrated.
Just like when we process our own fear—which is where all the work happens, by the way—we don't need to worry so much about the whole world. We just process our own crap. We are really doing our part, and that means going down and actually experiencing the darkness that's in there—the shadow, the pain—and not rejecting it.
Allowing it, honoring ourselves enough to actually let that come up and face it and realize, "Oh my gosh, I have so much fear. Oh my gosh, I'm a mess." That's okay. That's okay because it's by seeing that and allowing it and feeling through it that you heal it, you integrate it, and then the light is what's left.
It purifies it; it strengthens, and then the whole collective actually is raised up. And you give permission to everybody else to process their crap. You see, the solution is not in the organizations of the world to start. It's not in the governments or in the armies. No, the healing and the growth of humankind is in the heart.
It's in the individual; it's in your consciousness. Just meet your own fear and find love and peace and joy in your own life, even in a small way, and you are helping the entire collective to grow and to rise up in that temperature, to process that old crap out, and to awaken.
And as we do that, then the old systems will crumble. And we may think that, "Oh man, a year is a long time. Five years is a long time." Not really. One lifetime is a pretty short time. Now, we want change quick. We want to see quick change. Change is happening quick.
I'm just encouraging—don't be discouraged if it appears to take a long time. We're dealing with a lot of density here, and there is growth occurring.
When so I'm energetically sensitive, when I go out into crowds or even just meet with somebody, I feel their energy. I feel the energy of the crowd, and the energy now is so different than even 13 years ago when I started going through my awakening. There's so much more awareness and presence and love, even though there's also a lot of turmoil on the surface.
Yeah, for sure. How do you explain this acceleration that we've had over the past few years in terms of the exterior world collectively—of wars, pandemic, like everything is just in shambles—and at the same time, more and more people awakening? What's causing this frequency to shake?
The awakening causes friction because that means we have to process our crap and get it up to the surface, and that's going to cause friction and change. It's not just like a calm, gradual, gentle process. When the crap that's down there is gross—what I mean is when our fear is gross and dark—then when it comes up, that's going to be hard.
It's going to cause friction—personally and collectively, energetically and physically. So as the awakening increases, there is more and more energetic calling. The world of consciousness precedes the world of form. It gives rise to it, so the world of form has to reflect the world of consciousness. It has to; it has no choice.
There is no world of form; it's only consciousness having an experience. So as consciousness awakens, the world of form must reflect that awakening process. And in our case, that can be tumultuous.
Yeah, and I think the Earth is actually shaking everything at the moment. And it's like, "This is now." Yes, man, sister. Oh my, yes. Yeah, this is something I'm feeling.
And to go back to when we were talking about being kids—when I was a kid, I had that feeling. I was just praying in my room with my teddy bears and my little things, and I had a feeling that I had a mission. Yes, but not in the sense of a holy mission. It was more of like there's something that I need to do—a personal mission.
Yeah, there is something here that I need to do. But I was freaked out because I didn't know what it was. I didn't remember it. Yeah, and I'm saying this—I was maybe five, six, seven, like that age.
And when I had my awakening, I could see everything happening in the world, and I was like, "Oh, this is the moment. This is the kind of like—I don't know—it's just like when you remember a dream, but you just remember one or two details, and it's like, 'Oh, I recognize this. I recognize this frequency.'"
Yeah, but I think it's great. A lot of people are awakening, and it's all happening, and it's great. And I think that's why I loved your book as well. It's just because sometimes it can be so destroying and difficult, and I think people like you publishing books like you did really help have an overview of, "This is just theater. This is just a play, and there's nothing to be afraid of in it."
No, exactly. And you knew what costume you were going to put on, and you knew exactly what was going to be on stage and what the script was.
So yeah, thank you so much for your book because I think it is one of those books that is just full of wisdom. It made me think of Conversations with God as well. I love those books where you can just open any page, and there's a message for you now, what you're going through, and you can just open it at any page, and there's a reading, something that's beautiful.
That's what it's meant for, so thank you so much.
Yeah, but what's the response to your book being published? Do you get people saying, "This has helped"?
Yeah, it's been overwhelmingly positive. I'm so—as I wrote the book, okay, I never sat down and said, "I'm going to write a book now." It was always that spirit was coming to me and guiding me with chunks, providing chunks, and all I did was record it over six years and then intuitively arrange it.
It's a nonlinear book on purpose because it's meant to provide what you've described—helping the reader get to that piece that will help them today, that will remind them of who they are. It's all about reminding us of who we really are because when we know that, we don't have to be afraid.
So yes, to your question, many people have reached out. I've made the book available on my website to be read online for free. It's not about money; I just want the message to get out. And yet, it has also sold many copies. I've done the audiobook, and that's done very well.
The reception has been so wide-reaching that it's just shocking to me. When I published it, I knew—just like you were saying—you kind of recognized, "Oh, I have a mission here. I have something to do here." Oh man, I felt that calling with this book so strongly. My bones were like, "You must do this before you pass."
I can't even describe to you the level of spiritual—I don't know what the right word is—compulsion? Maybe that's a wrong word. I just felt so strongly called. There's like a drive to it. Oh, drive. Like I had to do that.
And when I finally published it, I was—I don't even—nothing. I don't need anything to happen with it. I don't have any idea as to an outcome. However, I also have intuitively known this could really affect the world. This could really help.
And when I pressed publish, I just felt that release. And since then, yeah, I get emails every day from people. It's very humbling; it's very touching. I have one-on-ones with people from around the world, and there are so many spiritually awakening people that just want to find, "Oh my gosh, I'm not crazy. This is real. I really want to share with somebody."
And we need to be there for each other. You know, we're all brothers and sisters. There's no such thing as strangers. We're all connected; we're all one with each other. And it's so exciting to be here on Earth at this time.
So I'm honored if even one person can be reminded of who we really are. I will feel so much joy because that's a huge opportunity here.
There's a great quote by the guide Silver Birch that I can't remember exactly. Silver Birch is a channeled source back in the 1940s—some of the most beautiful writing on spirituality that exists. So beautiful. And he has a sentence where he says something like, "You know, all the darkness can be driven from the Earth. It's not a picture of gloom. If you can help even one soul to be comforted when all seems dark or to remind them of who they really are, then it will have all been worthwhile. And you can help far more than one."
Oh, I'm so moved by that and motivated by that because we really can help each other. Just like in the store, you know, it doesn't need to be a big, grand thing. Just smile to the person next to you. Just ask them how their day is today. Just give somebody a hug. Be vulnerable with somebody.
Show somebody we're not the masks. We live in a world of masks, but man, screw the masks. Forgive my—as we say in English—forgive my French. That's how we—yeah, yeah. I love saying that when I start in English—forgive the French. So I just mean, screw the masks. That's not who we are.
We are who we really are. You are who you really feel. Who we are—you are your true nature. We don't have to wear a mask with each other. And that has been the greatest blessing because now that I've published the book, people reach out to me, and they drop their masks, and we can be real with each other.
That's what it's all about, man. If we can do that on Earth, oh, it's beautiful.
It is beautiful. But I think this is what's happening now. And as you said, I think our greatest strength is writing, publishing, doing videos, doing podcasts with testimonies of people's spiritual paths or difficulties or how they overcame it and what was the gift after that because I think anyone can relate.
And the thing is, in my podcast, I interviewed a lot of people who are in their 60s or 70s or 80s, and when they described to me their spiritual awakening when they were around 20 or 30, it just sounds really tough.
And bear in mind, most of the people that I interview are scientists, doctors, pharmacists. And basically, there's one woman who said to me—she had kids, and she was married, and she had this big spiritual awakening, got divorced, went to Brazil or I don't know where, and everyone thought she was crazy.
The father of her kids thought she was crazy; her colleagues thought she was crazy. And I think, you know, thank you to those people who actually carved the way for us because now we're so free to publish the book that you did or for me to do this podcast and just to talk about it freely.
We're much more free than we used to be. However, there are many people who do not yet still feel free. There's a lot of people who are deeply associated with certain creeds, certain religious associations, societal restrictions, or cultural restrictions, and they don't feel free.
And one of the most important things we can do is to remind each other, "It's okay. You're allowed to question. You're allowed to grow. You're allowed to go see what's real. You're allowed to find yourself, and you're allowed to be yourself."
Do you know that? Like, it sounds simple, but our whole society is built on—well, not our whole society, but huge portions of our society are built on the fake, built on the beliefs, built on the old way of thinking.
We are creating a new world, and anytime we can be there for each other, it's like another ping in the collective consciousness, and that helps accelerate things. It's beautiful. It's such wonderful work.
Yeah, I think it's great. More people awakening, and then that means more and more and more. And you know, there's this big movement happening. We're really lucky.
And there's one concept I wanted to talk to you about before we end this interview—something I'm personally really working on right now in my personal life. It's love. Love when something doesn't go your way. Love when someone hurts you. Love when you're actually angry and want to kill someone.
And there's one—it's just lyrics of a song. I don't know if you know this English rapper called Little Simz. Only vaguely? Okay, so I'll just read you there's this song called "Broken" that she's written, and she says:
"We all go through our hardships, but no life books show knees to the carpet and pray. You're being guided by a force, so you can't sink. Look how far you've come, and see you've only just started. You exist; you're alive; you're deserving of life. You're a beacon of light; you are determined to fly. You have a journal inside; you have the power to write. You have the opportunity every day to decide—choose love. It might just blossom into a new love, but whatever happens, just know that you've won. Amen."
And I think those lyrics are beautiful because they just sum up—choose love; you've won. Yes, but that's something that really comes across strongly in your book. And yet, I feel like it's so difficult sometimes.
Yes, do you have a piece of advice?
Yeah, okay, this is a complex topic because it's the very thing that we're here to do. So it's very multifaceted; it's very unique for each person and how they deal with their internal and external world. It's a very rich topic, but I'll just make a couple of comments.
So when we say choose love, that doesn't mean force some kind of fake love on top of your actual anger. At the root of everything, at the bottom of everything, is love. What I mean is, the nature of beingness itself is love and joy and freedom.
So when we're not experiencing that, the first step is to acknowledge we're not experiencing that fully because we're not making anything up. This is not about making anything up; in fact, this is about getting rid of the things that we're making up and actually going and finding, "How do I feel? What do I feel? Angry? Why do I feel angry? Do I feel powerless? Why do I feel powerless?"
Be willing to actually feel what you feel and then let it show you where the fear is because anytime we're experiencing anger or powerlessness or some kind of friction like that, underneath all the layers, underneath all the stories—it might be 300 layers down—but underneath everything, somewhere, is fear.
If we can allow ourselves to see that fear and actually go into it—go into the dark closet and find out there are no monsters in there. When we go into the fear and actually experience it, actually allow it, actually bring the light of our awareness into it—not as a rejection, not so that we can get rid of it—no, go see how you actually feel when you actually are brave enough to process that.
Feel it in your body. Your body is like a tuning fork or something; it will tell you how you're feeling. We feel our anxiety in our body; we feel our anger in our body; we feel pain in our body. Our bodily experience is part of the magic of this physical experience.
Allow yourself to feel the body, feel the negative, feel that fear. And when you allow yourself to actually meet it and feel it all the way—yes, you might cry; yes, you might have other strong feelings rise up—yes, that's fine. Allow yourself to actually go and experience it all the way because that's taking the block out of the dam.
It allows life to flow freely through you, and when we truly do that, all of a sudden, the fear that gave rise to the ego and to the anger and to the powerlessness will vanish—not because we tried to get rid of it, but because we were brave enough to actually go and see and feel.
We were humble enough to actually acknowledge where we have fear. You see, underneath all of that is always, at the very bottom, love and peace and joy. Now, it's okay if we don't feel love and peace and joy. That's an important first step.
We say, "Oh my gosh, I'm really pissed," or "Oh my gosh, I feel terrible right now. Why do I feel so terrible? That person made me feel bad, or this job makes me feel a certain way, and I feel powerless. Like, I don't have a choice to leave my job."
Okay, so how do I feel that way? And you really explore underneath there. Be willing to actually explore. You will find your own rejection, your own labels, your own meaning is always a part of the mix. You are the author of the meaning; you are the author of the experience. You get to decide how you meet all that.
So I know that's a broad comment, but that's really important because as we do that, we don't even know we're untangling the spider web. We don't think of it that way, but by untangling it and by untangling the ego, we get closer and closer to who we really are.
It's like when we meet someone in the non-physical and we communicate with them, we share with them, we telepathically talk with them—our communication is not like here on Earth. Here on Earth, we're like, "Okay, I went to this place at this time, and this person did this thing, and this object got moved over here, and that object got moved over there, and now I'm angry."
Now, when we share in the non-physical, it is a full sharing of how we actually feel, what our actual intention is, what our actual perspective is. They're a part of us; we're a part of them. We can feel it. There's no room for misunderstanding, and who you actually are, what you're actually feeling, is honored.
You see, it's valued. This world doesn't do a good job in general of honoring how we actually feel and what our limitations actually are.
So I know that was kind of a long comment there, but I just want to highlight that because it's okay to feel the way that you feel. If there's friction, just know that wherever your rejection is, wherever the negative meaning you've put on life is, it's okay that it's there.
Now, one other quick comment—when you go down and do that exploration, if when you find the deepest fears, the deepest rejections, they will not appear to be beliefs. They will appear to be the nature of reality itself.
For instance, "The world is cruel." You might believe that the world is cruel; it's full of bad people. "I have to protect myself. That's just the way it is." No, that's not just the way it is. That's a belief, but it doesn't appear to be a belief.
So the reason I'm pointing that out is you need to be willing to question even your deepest assumptions and see where have you put negative meaning on your life because you are the author. That takes ownership; it takes humility, but it's ultimately extremely freeing.
You see, because like I said, underneath all those illusions, peace and love and joy is who we really are. So if you're not feeling that, follow the signpost of what feels bad. Where does my body feel stressed? Why do I feel that?
And then, if you follow that, your mind might show you an image of when you were five years old and somebody pissed you off. That's fine. And then, when you feel that now, you feel angry about something else, and maybe now I feel powerless.
It's a big web; it's all connected. That's okay. Allow those things to arise, and then when they leave, that's okay too. Allow the peace that arises. Allow this moment to be good.
You know, it's not like we have to go looking for the pain. Our pain will rise up on its own. Our fear will rise up all on its own. You don't need to go looking for trouble.
This moment, when we stop all that and just appreciate—we're allowed to fully appreciate this moment as a moment of joy, as a moment of peace, as a moment of beauty. And it's okay if it doesn't feel like that at this moment, but when you let go of everything, it will because that's its nature.
Do you think meditation is the key, or is meditation the only key to go inside ourselves like that?
Well, it's not the only key, but it is a very powerful tool because it is setting aside time to actually investigate what is real, which is your consciousness itself, and not the thoughts.
Because we get really deeply associated with thought—the word "associated" is really important because we're not the thought. You're not the thought; you're not your thoughts; you're not your body; you're not your feelings. Actually, you're you experiencing being those things.
It's association with those things that get so deep. Meditation allows us to take a step back and gradually—well, it doesn't have to be gradual; it can be very immediate and sudden too—but usually, gradually step back towards what we really are.
Then all of a sudden, it might take months even, but all of a sudden, this peace will just rise up. "Oh my gosh, what was that? It's so beautiful." And then the ego wants to grab onto it. "Give me that peace. That felt so good. Give me that again. I want that again."
That desperation quickly comes to the surface because, "Oh my gosh, that felt so amazing—even to have one second of freedom from thinking and from association, just being me all the way, alert me, felt so good. Give me that back."
Just going and doing that does create so much space. So meditation is very helpful. But is it the only method? No.
We could just say—because this is another broad question—but we could just say that the way that we choose to meet reality is very powerful. So I love the quote from Bashar: "Circumstances don't matter; only state of being matters."
And what he means is, it doesn't really matter what's arisen on the surface so much. It doesn't really matter if you have money or don't have money. It doesn't really matter if your body is sick or well so much. What matters is how you relate to it, how you use or respond to the circumstances.
Doing that mindfully—which is again back in the direction of meditation—but mindfulness doesn't require meditation. It can be practiced in any moment. Doing that mindfully can be very freeing because as we have mindfulness—that means full alertness—then when the circumstances arise, we can identify, "Oh, you know what? I really have a death grip on this idea."
Like, in my case right now, I'm in a situation where my job, my workplace, is making a significant change that I don't prefer. And so now I'm having to make a decision—do I stay there? Do I move on? Do I stop working for a while to continue to focus on this work?
I have to decide, so my thinking has been focused on that topic for like two weeks. So when I meditated last night, I felt all this association of my consciousness with these thoughts that seem so important. "How do I earn money? That seems really important. Do I give up this thing that I've been working so hard for? That seems really important."
It's okay to let that go actually and to return—it's actually empowering then to return to who we are. That's meditation. But then, once we're here, what quality of being do I bring into this moment? This decision?
If somebody says something at work, who am I in that moment? Do I get lost in the unconscious ego response, or can I arrive with a state of being that is more intentional, more alert? That simple process is very powerful.
It is a simple process. Well, I think what's hard is applying it every day and seeing the little things and how we react. You have that kind of posture all the time. I think that's what's—yeah, that's a good question.
Just a quick comment about that—that posture may start as a forced habit. Like, what I mean is, "Oh, this came up. Okay, now I'm going to try to look at this differently. Man, I'm pissed. I'm going to try to look at this differently."
And now this came up. "Oh, man, this sucks." So that's okay. Like, that's okay. I want to point one thing out though—your true nature is effortless. Your true nature is authentic. Your true nature is joy. So it's not hard.
All I mean is, it's not hard to be who you really are. It's easier than breathing. Being who you really are—does that sound like such a hard habit? No.
Put it this way—I know that in practice, it can be challenging. I'm not trying to make it sound overly easy. In fact, this place—this is the place of great rigor and challenge. We're really pushing the boundaries. I mean, this is hard.
That's the opportunity. The opportunity is, can you be kind even when you're cold and hungry and mad? Or can you be kind even when your intimate partner just totally trashed your trust or whatever?
You know, whatever the situation—it's one thing to be on the other side and to know our true nature and to say, "Yes, I can be kind. I'm kind." It's another thing to be here and to just have had mud thrown in your face metaphorically, and now, what choice do you make?
You see, but if we can see the mud as an opportunity and go, "Oh my gosh, this mud—this is gross. This sucks. It's in my eyes." And you know what I mean—you scoop out your eyes, and you're like, "What is going on?"
If you can even just have that little bit of humor and then decide how to respond, that goes a long way. It takes alertness, and it evolves who you are without even knowing.
You see, it's all about quality of intention. It's not really so much about how the physical objects end up being arranged. It's just, what intention do you bring into this moment? Are you bringing in intention that's rooted in fear and ego, or love and ease and authenticity?
That's all. And I know that can be difficult to apply daily when you're being whipped by life. Still, that's the opportunity. That is the very opportunity. It's like a gift.
The challenges of life are like a gift being handed to you because how else can the immortal being be so challenged? So when they're handed to you, then you get to make the choice—what do I do with this moment? Wow, what an honor. What a gift.
Yeah, and I think this is exactly what our free will is. Yes, exactly. How do you react because things happen to you—situations, good, bad, whatever. How do you react?
And the thing is, I think it's so deep what you just said about intention because when someone threw mud in my face 10 years ago when I was 25, I would be so angry. I would just blast on the other person. That would be my reaction.
And today, when the same thing happens, I'm really angry, but I don't do anything about it. I don't speak. You see what I mean? I make a choice, and that's more conscious.
It's like, "Okay, I'm super angry. He better not call me right now because this is going to be a massacre." And then, once the anger comes down, it's like, "What's my intention? How do I want to not solve this but find a peace of mind?"
And I think that's the intention. It's like, "No, I've got this anger, and I've got all that, but what do I do with it? Where do I want to take it? Where do I want to go with it?"
And I think you've just made me realize that actually, it's just a matter of intention because before, I was like, "Well, this is my reaction. It just means it's my reaction. I can't do anything against it." But it's actually two separate steps—this is the reaction, and where do I take it? What do I do with it? How do I transcend it?
Yes, that quality of intention is very deep, and often, we can't even fully identify at the start what our real intention is. We just know we're angry. We just know that we're upset. We just know we feel a certain way.
Really, our intention might be, "I feel afraid of being alone or powerless, and so I'm going to grab any power I can by throwing anger back immediately." You know, our intention is to protect ourselves.
We don't even know that that's our intention; we just know we feel angry. But one really important point I want to make here though is, it's not just like you choose. It's not like you just choose a nice intention, and now you've done your job.
No, no, your true nature is love and joy. So when you actually choose the intention that is aligned with love—which means honoring yourself and honoring the world and honoring everyone around you and not throwing mud back at them—you know, when you really explore that, two things happen.
One, you become freed. You become full of joy because guess what? Love is joyful. Fear is not. Fear sucks. Fear is all that negative crap that comes out of fear. When you act in love, your life will become joyful. Even this moment can become joyful.
You can just laugh all of a sudden. You don't even know why because, "Oh my gosh, this isn't as dire as it seems." And then, when you make that choice—because it is your choice—it's all like you said, it's all this is what free will is all about.
What intention do we choose to wield? What intention are we issuing, whether consciously or unconsciously? When we make a shift in intention, the world changes too.
Now, I know that might not seem obvious at first, but this is still a probabilistic reality. It has no choice but to respond to you. So as you change your intention, other things will happen in your life that wouldn't have otherwise happened.
Certain events may or may not happen. Like, you know, some event might arise that might have otherwise not arisen, or vice versa. Or you might meet someone new that otherwise wouldn't have been energetically attracted into your space.
That intention precedes how the probabilities unfold in the physical. So I'm introducing a little bit of magic here. The world is not just an objective, physical, dense, "screw you" place. The world is still a virtual reality that has no choice but to arise in response to intention probabilistically.
So to put all that very simply, magic happens when you change when your quality of intention shifts from fear to love. Magic happens. The universe succeeds when you do that, and it provides—like, there are two elements to this.
One is that it just mechanically happens like a mechanism. The universe has no choice but to just respond. But also, the universe tends to feed back to you the positive when you're on the right path. Whereas when you're on the wrong path—when you're on a path of selfishness or you're just constantly avoiding some fear—you tend to have a negative experience.
It tends to keep coming up over and over until you face it and process that crap. Yeah, it's like you have not done your homework, and it's just—it is like that. But it's more like, "Okay, another opportunity. Okay, another opportunity."
And we think, "Oh, I should have mastered this 10 opportunities ago." You know what? It's okay. The patience of spirit is infinite. Like, the unconditional love of spirit—unconditional love, absolutely unconditional.
No conditions means one million failures later—no, it's not really failures—one million reminders later, you will still be loved, and you'll still be given the chance. And then, if you choose love—oh, beautiful. One million times later, it doesn't matter how long. You're fine. It's okay.
Like, you can't actually fail. It's very freeing when we realize how much that love is, how deep it is, how much absolute understanding there is for us. It's like—it's a little bit like if someone goes to Mount Everest and climbs the mountain, and maybe they only make it halfway up, and then they get really cold, and they can't breathe, and they get sick, and they break their leg or something, and then they come back.
Do you say to them, "Oh, you screwed up"? No. You honor them because, "Oh my gosh, you went up into the cold. You went to where there was no air. Wow, that was kind of crazy. I can't believe you did that, but you did. Was it an adventure? How did it feel?"
That's what being human is like, man. We're up on Mount Everest. It's cold, and then people are up here, and they're like, "Man, it's cold." Yes, it's cold. It's cold. It's fine.
Now, the question is, what do you do now that it's cold? Do you take another step? Do you sit on the mountain and admire the sun for a bit? You know, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter that it's cold or airless. The cold and the airlessness—that is not native. It's virtual. It's an offering to us.
So the question is just, how do we use it?
I think that's a great way to end this interview with this question—how do we use it? What do we do with all that?
Thank you so much, Christian.
You're welcome. Thank you so much for having me on. Like I said earlier in the interview, the sense that I have about your mission is powerful. You really are doing it. Thank you for being here and walking the walk. If there's any way I can help, I would love to help.
You're doing it. You're connecting the dots. It's awesome. Keep doing it.
It was a real pleasure to speak with you and to have this opportunity to interview you. Thank you.
Thank you.